2023 – a Reflection

This blog post is a 2023 summary but only in the most general of terms. It contains a couple of the highlights but is intended more as a broader developmental reflection piece. 

In the Spirit of Adventure

I began 2023 began in a state of optimism after a period of uncertainty. I left my job in late 2022 and the Christmas period came and went. January arrived and with it came a sudden and desperate urge to travel somewhere different to my traditional stomping ground of Poland. One Saturday evening I was enjoying a beer at home and decided to book a trip to some new countries before returning to Old Faithful, Poland. I decided on a three-week trip taking me to Romania for two days then on to Belgrade before moving on to Stockholm and then finally returning to Krakow. The trip was as much about trying to experience new places for the joy of travel just as much as it was about meeting new girls for the X +1. I spent two days in Romania and was not impressed. I found it a dour city full of sterile architecture flooded with quite subpar women dressed in grungy black clothing obscuring their slightly chubby bodies with poor complexions. I did several sets and acquired a few tepid leads, but failed to get anything off the ground which I guess is to be expected for what was less than a two-day trip. 

I then flew to Belgrade for the first time and spent something like five or six days there. It was a good experience. I like many others found that Belgrade is no Turkey Shoot and quickly realised a couple of days into the trip, that part of the problem is the daygamers tendency to yo-yo up and down Knez Miaholova hour after hour and day after day (I lost count of the number of times I would see British Daygamers ghosting around in pairs both on that trip and across a later 4-week trip in Spring). 

I made that same mistake over the first few days before finding one or two areas that were less trodden on that led to some good results and some good leads and generally a more satisfying experience as a whole.

The trip was notable for what was probably my quickest-ever SDL with a Chinese medical student. From opening her to taking her home in the space of 20 minutes it was one of the most bizarre episodes of my daygame career and memorable for the sheer novelty of the experience. 

I flew on to Stockholm and was met by the after-effects of what had been a major snowstorm that had been running for several days. The ferocity of the blizzards had abated, but the snow banks were piled high all over Stockholm and were in some places still several feet thick. This, combined with the fact that the temperature was well below freezing (around -10/15) during the time that I was there, made for some interesting daygame conditions. I enjoyed Stockholm however. I found the girls were friendly (probably even more so than Polish girls) and very receptive to daygame. In terms of quality, the overall standard was pretty good, especially for nightgame around the Södermalm area. 

I had my heart broken by a stunning 18-year-old Finish girl who came back to my hotel, but who age rejected me when she ‘found out I was 32’ as we kissed on the sofa. It was one of the most ripping experiences of my life to watch that incredible blonde stand up and accentuate her amazing pantyhose-clad legs, the tight black dress hugging her perfect arse, before watching her leave the hotel as I stared down at her from the Presidential Suite in the Radisson Blu Hotel – desperately hoping that she would turn back. She didn’t and I never saw her again. 

The trip was notable for an SDL with a model on my very last evening. It was truly one of the most fortuitous SDL experiences in my life and it just goes to show that daygame is as much about placement, luck and chance (sometimes more so) than skill. I had been in Södermalm for most of the Sunday afternoon and decided to go back to the hotel and relax for a little before going back out that evening. Just as I was about to walk into my hotel I decided at the last moment to cut through the park and go over to a seven-eleven to get a couple of beers. As I was walking through the park I saw a tall girl blonde walking towards. It was dark, grim and icy but I just had to open this girl. We spoke and the set grounded quite quickly and I invited her for a drink. She suggested going back to her hotel bar as she had to pick some clothes (she was a fashion model and had been on a shoot that day). I suggested instead that we go to my hotel because I didn’t want to miss out on the experience of potentially getting a +1 in such a beautiful hotel room, “It’s just there, I said. We sat in the hotel bar and I ordered a bottle of Malbec (I think the cheapest bottle was around 100 Euros). I inhaled deeply at the price and put the wine on my hotel tab. After some 15 or 20 minutes I suggested we go up to my hotel room because I wanted to show her the room and the amazing view of the city. She obliged and it was plain sailing from there.

It was an incredible way to end the trip with +1 in such challenging conditions that owed as much to my skill, and tenacity as it did to being in the right place and right time, in this case, a small cut-through path in a park. Thirty seconds earlier or later and our paths would never have crossed. The experience was made even sweeter because the next day the hotel didn’t charge me for the wine. We make our luck in this business. 

Into the Routine

I returned to Belgrade in May and spent most of the month there settling into a good gym routine, regular beers, dates, doing a bit of coaching and spending my time with two lovely girls who became girlfriend candidates. I spent a lot of time with one of them who always put a little spread on each time I’d stay over there would be crisps, sweets, and peanuts and she’d buy me a couple of beers. I started to like ‘Legs’ a lot and denied the reality of the logistical issues involved in getting to Belgrade to just enjoy the experience with her. But I knew deep down that it was all for nothing. She didn’t especially want to leave Belgrade and the issues of her getting to the UK were real in terms of visas etc. Similarly, I didn’t see myself travelling to Belgrade with any frequency, and my principal focus was always based upon the Second City Methodology that I had adopted over the last few years (discussed in detail in my book) that was the foundation of my basis for building relationships in those cities purely as a consequence of the ease in which I can travel to those cities, for example. Having an already good infrastructure set in place in Poland meant that I wasn’t going to sacrifice it for a flutter on trying to recreate it in Serbia. 

Summer came quickly and the months bled away. I was busy across June, July and August with coaching which was taking up a lot of my time. Girls were frequently coming into my life I had lots of dates and I had reached I think by August some 16 or 17-day daygame lays on the year. SDLs were abnormally common and I think I had 8 or 9 in the year by this stage. By the time September came I just felt fatigued, spent and done. 

I should point out that in early July I met a girl in Poland one lovely afternoon. Nick Krauser and I were having lunch before he broke the conversation to take a ‘ahhh me biz‘ work call. Whatever the drama was that caused him to leave the table, it afforded me the chance to recover my senses and cast my eye over Rynek. Not more than a few seconds later, I saw her – a beautiful little brunette girl with an incredibly bold fashion statement, very daring, walk past me. In those 30 seconds, I battled the pros- and cons of opening her: the approach weasels biting at my confidence. In the end, I took the advice that I always give many guys that I coach which is to ignore pre-approach and and all manner of other spergy, technical PUA nomenclature that the community uses as pre-emptive rejection criteria to save ego. I’ve always said that the idea of looking for specific archetypes or specific styles or specific tells in girls is nothing more than a coping mechanism and it’s one of the reasons why so many guys don’t unlock the true potential of what daygame can offer. So I leapt up from my seat and opened her. The set went incredibly well. We met an hour later later for a date and Nick even came with me to check her out and begrudgingly nodded his approval. The rest is history. We started dating, tentative walks and lots of voice notes. Cute teasing and moderate sexual flirting. Eventually, on I think the fifth date, I took her virginity. 

She came to stay with me in Warsaw for one night in August and I began to realize that this girl had developed some feelings for me. But I was at this stage in such an unhealthy, selfish mindset with a ‘players buffer’ that I was unable to correctly interpret the signs and the signals that a girl was giving me to show that she liked me a lot. It is worth mentioning at this point that I had made this mistake twice in the past and incidentally both with girls who were virgins. They were girls I dated and spent a lot of time with, but I never allowed myself to get close to them. I always maintained an air of loftiness, detachment and aloofness. I managed the emotional distance and became detached empathetically. As these relationships fizzled out, both girls got in touch at different times and the conversations were analogous: I had hurt them and hadn’t read their feelings. I said to myself I was not going to repeat the same mistakes with this girl – but I had been doing that very same thing. Despite the fact I would give her ‘attention’ it was surface level and superficial. I didn’t read the signs that this girl had developed feelings for me. Even though I was dating her and speaking to her regularly, she felt that she was effectively being used simply for sex and convenience. It was a bit of a wake-up call for me and I was ready to change and take a step back on the distanciation and make a stronger commitment to her – and finally admit to myself that I was starting to fall in love with her.

 September and October were off-months. I took some time away from coaching (having only coached one student over this period) and enjoyed the autumn calm at home. My girl came to stay a few times and I felt completely averse to the idea of ’emotionally unconnected sex’ with someone when I had a stunning girl I liked being with who I had a connection with. I guess you could say that I realized that part of me, my empathy, had been shut down and I began to feel some guilt and shame for having hurt some girls who cared for me in the past. I did not want to ‘be that man’ again. So by October, I told her how I felt. I then committed to stop doing daygame and to focus more specifically on just enjoying the time I spent with her. As of January 2024, we are still making lots of plans together which include travel and she will be spending quite a bit of time at my home during the winter in spring of 2024. 

Some Further Highlights

• an SDL with a hot 17 year-old coaching in Munich
• an SDL with a hot lap dancer I met on way to a date with a hot Ukranian blonde an hour after having been on a date 2 with a girl who is now basically my girlfriend.
• Meeting 2 girls in Warsaw and enjoying mini-relationships with them across July into August
• Finishing my book
• Enjoying travel for the sake of travel
• Setting up a YouTube account and vlogging my thoughts and offering advice. View it here.

Broader Development

For some of us, there comes a time across our daygame journey when we realize that we didn’t see the wood for the trees. 

You have met many great girls but you have allowed them to recede from your life. 

As we have seen with many Gen 1 PUAs who struggle to recapture the form of their player days on their current Wife Hunts despite (or perhaps because of) their new Boyfriend Friendly Blue-Pill veneer and self-improvement philosophies. 

The moment of clarity is the point when you realise that you’re dating a fantastic girl who with solid personality characteristics, healthy life views, admirable character and beauty. 

How many men in these situations who have equipped themselves with advanced daygame skills are capable of asking the important question: why, if I am with such a girl am I continually going out chasing other girls some of whom are nowhere near the quality of the girl I’m dating?

I think when you lose the ability to understand this question marks the moment that you have a problem. 

On a simple level, you can boil this problem down to two things. Firstly you probably are not attracted enough or connected enough to the girl that you are dating or in a relationship with. Most guys settling into relationships do so so that they can feel socially accepted by their family, friends and society as a whole. What they fail to admit to themselves is that they are unhappy, and they have an underlying urge to get out there and meet other girls on the chance that they might meet a better girlfriend. The second element is likely probably down to the fact that if you are in your early twenties then you simply have an extremely high sex drive with an unassailable urge to get out there and breed with other women. But it is still the bastard brother of the first point: you’re dating a girl that you don’t particularly want to be with and secondly, you are probably not emotionally mature enough to understand the reality and the needs of being in a relationship with one woman. In this latter case, let the chemistry rule you – become life support for your dick – there is no way to fight it. But don’t pretend it is something which it isn’t.

For me, I’ve certainly been guilty of both of these things in the past, especially in my younger years as I had a high sex drive and I also had token girlfriends that I cheated on. I can admit this because I come from a position of experience. But for now, I just feel at ease – liberated – released. I feel happy to take my eye off the female ball for a little while and just enjoy the peace and relative tranquillity of just having one woman on my mind and resisting the desire to seek endless conquests and sex with other girls. And again I speak from experience on this having had my last daygame lay of the year back in November with a girl who was a demonstration set I did for a client dating back in July. While the sex was good, the emotional impact and the guilt afterwards were real and I felt terrible about it. 

I guess this shows that I still have some strands of decency running through me because the idea of hurting a girl who is committed to me is something that I do feel very guilty about one which I will not be repeating in the time that I’m with this girl. 

Was 2023 a Success?

2023 was a very interesting year for me. It involved a lot of travel. I learned a lot about daygame, I developed some pretty acute SDL skills. I worked with a lot of new clients and reflected a lot about each journey and challenge. From a personal level, I think I finished on 17-daygame lays despite having done negligible daygame from September to December. I started the year travelling as much as possible, meeting some women, generating some memorable experiences and hopefully – meeting a girlfriend candidate. So from this measure, the year was a great success. 

However, there has to be a caveat. I think I would be foolish to put all of my eggs in one basket dating a much younger woman. As an older man, I have to face the unpalatable reality that this is very likely finite and the relationship could end quickly and for a whole multitude of reasons. She wants to go to university and is considering a gap year abroad. Not only this, but younger girls understandably have a huge amount of learning to do and they are equally entitled to learning from their mistakes. As older men, we can be forgiven for being unwilling or incapable of accepting this especially in light of the more poisonous aspects of the red pill community is its absolutist idea about how you treat and view female behaviour. What we have to understand is that as an older man dating a younger woman the challenge is coming to terms with an expectation of rocky roads, mistakes and learning. The question is whether or not he is equipped with the mindset, maturity and wisdom to deal with this learning curve and afford the girl the room to make these mistakes and learn for herself. Of course, it will be frustrating. In my particular relationship, I am lucky enough to be dating a girl who doesn’t go to clubs, doesn’t drink, smoke or party. But even with all of these risk areas having been removed from the equation, I have to accept that she is still allowed to learn, grow and make mistakes. 

The challenge I face is affording her that opportunity to do so without judgment. On this note, I would caution all men who end up in relationships with younger girls to embrace the fact that some mistakes will be made and some frustrations will be inevitable. But to make it work, it is all down to your emotional intelligence and your ability to forego some of the nonsense that you read online about how you should view and interpret female behaviour within the narrow prison of the red pill sphere. 

Reflecting forward

2024 will, I hope, still involve quite a bit of travel seeing some new places and returning to some old places. I’m not going to give up on daygame, however. I am going to give up on the desire to run fast escalation and seek out and aggressively push the experiences towards sex moving forward. I’ve become very good at this over the last few years and it is something that the girls I have met have always respected, liked and appreciated. But across 2024 I am going to change some of this behaviour. I fully intend to continue to develop the relationship with this girl, but I have to keep a realistic lid on where it will go and how long it will last.

I am going to continue to try to meet other women, but I aim to get to know them organically. I aim to be a little more patient and not look at the sex as the be-all and end-all. If it means meeting a woman and not even date requesting her for four weeks or five weeks then so be it. 

My aim now over the first half of 2024 is to simply develop slower-burning relationships with girls. This is a new learning curve for me, and no doubt it will be challenging, but it’s going to be an interesting experiment and one which I’m very keen to log through my Blog, YouTube and X. 

Moving forward, I will be concentrating a lot more on my YouTube channel just because I enjoy doing the videos sharing my dating and travel experience and offering some daygame advice to the community. In some cases, it will be quite basic advice and in other cases a lot more nuanced but the aim is simple and this is to steer guys away from some of the toxic dogma we see perpetuated online that is still preached as gospel truth e.g. the paradigms of the beginner, intermediate and advanced daygamer, as well as other nonsense like you ‘simply’ need to do 30 daygame sets a week to ‘learn’ and any amount of the torpid Generation On PUA logic presented as The Word of God to the community today by inept shyster millennials whose idea of masculinity is to wear a t-shirt with Viking iconography. There are new ideas out there and new mechanisms that stand proudly, but quietly, from the puerile adolescent themes that dominate much of daygame coaching on X.

If you wish to keep up the date with what I’m doing please subscribe to my YouTube channel I’m trying to put weekly videos out that cover an array of daygame advice, travel and relationships in general. 

As ever I will be coaching across 2024 in Poland as well as other countries so if anyone wants to reach out for 1-on-1 daygame coaching (no boot camps!) in person with me contact me via my blog or via X @BroodingSea, or via my telegram @BroodingSea. 

My book is also available and it is currently on Lulu: Daygame and Advanced Guide. It offers some new thoughts and some new thinking on what is important in daygame, how to run your date, how to build a pipeline, how to use online tools for developing your daygame leads and much more. It is been received very strongly by the 500+ guys who have read it. The link for the book is here. 

BroodingSea, January 2024